無題

我現在把我的 iPhone 放在米缸裡面,因為昨天晚上,我喝到很醉很醉,一個人喝掉一瓶香檳和一瓶紅酒,一邊跟我的好朋友司徒太太聊電話一邊抽煙一邊大哭,然後「噗通」,電話就掉在馬桶裡面。現在我希望米缸可以吸濕,希望有奇蹟會發生在我的 iPhone 身上。(註:三日已過去,奇蹟沒有發生。)

我很少在這裡談我的私人感情事,這亦應該是最後一次,我決定爽快點。

長期讀友 R 小姐在我的 Facebook 發現了不對勁,除了開解我,還語重心祥的對我說:不要再在 Blog 裡面公開妳的感情生活,不安好心的人太多。我說,但這就是一部分的我。

因為我發現,現在的我其實已不太在意其他人怎麼想我的,這是我想發洩感情的地方。你要看人家出糗嗎?恭喜你,你來對了地方了。

跟那位台灣的先生分手了。無論如何,我還是感謝這位先生讓我有過三秒鐘的希冀和盼望,人充滿了正能量的感覺原來是很美好的。

我不快樂,但不快樂的重點其實也不完全是因為跟這個一個月的男朋友分手。

這數年來我一直提到的某人,其實是我的前度男友,前前後後拖拖拉拉了八年。

八年的光陰,很長。

然後這位某人,在剛過去的聖誕節,也成為了別人的某人了,我看到了他 Facebook 的照片,拖著新女朋友的手。我從來沒有恨他,真的,由此至終到現在這一秒為止也是一點也沒有;假如我們真的不能在一起,又假如有其他的人可以讓他快樂,那麼 let go 也是唯一的出路。我只希望他快樂,衷心的。請你一定一定要快樂,不要浪費了我的八年青春。

我喝醉酒,是因為真的很傷心,但主要是在感慨自己總是遇上不對的人或者不對的時間。

或者有一些人的命總是這樣的吧!

重看了一次《Sex and the City》的 Season 6 大結局,Carrie 的法國假期,她離開 New York 時也是對俄國情人這段新戀情充滿了希冀和盼望,當然我們也理解她更想斬斷過去跟 Mr. Big 的一切,然後,她在巴黎生活時才發現巴黎和俄國情人也不是她想像中的美好。但 Carrie 有那個千山萬水、浪子回頭的 Mr. Big,在她最彷惶時,帶她離開。我沒有那個在巴黎街頭告訴我「我才是唯一」的 Mr. Big,我比 Carrie 在 Dior 裡面跌倒了更糗,但然後,只能自己再爬起來。

Bye Bye my Mr.Big,如果真的有平行時空,那時候,我一定不會放手。

假如你問我會否把有關的微博或者是 Blog Post 刪掉?答案是不會的。我只是覺得沒必要,因為那是我生命中的其中一部分,縱然佔的部分,不多。

在上海假期之前,我把 iPhone 用電腦 backup 了一次,回來之後,忘了;所以所有在上海的記憶、照片甚麼通通都沒有了。就當,做了一場夢。

Maybe it's a sign.

就這樣。

p.s.  千萬不要問我怎麼了?我不好,也不懂跟你說我很好,因為撒謊不是我所擅長。

66 則留言:

Tram Tram 說...

為你心痛也有點愕然....
好好保重,最近香港天氣又冷了很多,天色不好,容易令人諗埋一邊.....
愛錫自己
仲有好多好友同粉絲愛錫你

Veronica 說...

I've been following your blog for a while now. As a girl whose a few years younger, I can totally feel the pain that you are going through right now. It gave me a heartache to finish the entire piece. Needless to say, it brought tears to my eyes and stirred up memories that I have put aside. Even thought you are pondering about the maybe and the what if from time to time, but you know it's the best for you both to go your separate ways like how it had happened. You're not alone. Hugs, Your loyal reader.

Ingrid 說...

Take care my dear~

Cooking Meow 說...

*hug*

justanothergirllivinginthecommodifiedworld 說...

the best is yet to come :)


http://missveraaaaa.blogspot.com

SR 說...

妳是最特別的。事情總會好起來!

blog 說...

hi suyan,

have been regular following for some time being. i feel very sorry to know about the broke up.

all the best,

subscriber.

Leung Siu Fan 說...

feel sad for you :(

anyway, lets looking forward for the mr right.
take care & we all love u.

La vida es hermosa 說...

take care. it's been a heartbreaking decision but always believe the best is yet to come.

karen 說...

老天爺會將最好的留給妳,加油 !!

Wenwen 說...

加油, 要早日康復.

hoyoyi 說...

更好的下一個快點出現~~~

MIC 說...

不知怎讲好,当看过你写的北韩餐廳那篇后,我就立时想讲,啊,新恋情有点危!但想不到,那么快就真的来了. 最想讲的是,刚开始的新恋情,若吃上一顿不对的饭是非常非常糟糕的.不对的地方、不对的菜色、不对的服务、不对的价钱,于是蝴蝶效应地好多的东西都不对了,那幼小、刚萌的恋情也好像变得不对了。都过去了,愿你把不快都仍回2011去,把今天当作new year's day.从新出发。(这个时候潜水那么久应该出来跟你说说话,打打气)。

Princess Babylon 說...

大哭一場也並無不好,iphone的相沒有掉也好,很想看見你重新站起來,儘管急不來,不要緊的,take your time.你有著我們的祝福。

A 說...

擁抱希望!! 加油!

聶秀康 說...

素妹,
初長的幼苗何其纖弱,發覺不對分開阿Q說可省掉憎磨的時間,也很為妳8年光陰惋惜,但逝者巳矣,希望妳能活的更好,更舒心!相比一生妳還很年輕更有許多時光找尋幸福!祝福妳...

Jz 說...

I don't know how to comfort people and don't know why I wanted to leave a comment and cheer you up. I think you are a mentally-strong girl who sometimes need support.

It is not a big deal to break up. Just as you said, it is all about the wrong place and wrong time. What's more important is that after the crying and depression, you can stand up more confidently and charming. It is good to express out all your feeling and start a new journey to prepare for your life-long partner.

Don't cry over spilt milk. Make up your mind for the Mr. Right! You will find him in the right time.

ΟFAYΣ 說...

如果家中有抽濕機, 試試把他放到出風位(或是其他很接近很接近抽濕機的位置), 我有一部電話是這樣救回來的.

take care.

annielks 說...

我相信你一定可以尋找到屬於你自己的MR BIG 因為你是一個可愛動人的可人兒!!!! 感情該來的時候 擋也擋不住 當它要走 我們亦只能看著它走。但無論如何!!!我們這些小粉絲都在你身邊的~_~

lauyuet 說...

take care >3<

riverychild 說...

Take care~
Take a break n better is waiting for u~

zenla can 說...

Im ur blog reader for long time.
Just wanna tell u I felt exactly the same as u
As recently also finished a developing relationship(2months) suddenly w no reasons, ex (7 years relationship broke up 4years ago also just got married.
I m upset, not because of anyone of them
Just coz I can't meet the right person at right timing

What u wrote is what s in my mind!
So let's move On:)

Sa 說...

無論如何, 你總會遇上那個對的人。或許不是你理想的, 但他一定會是愛你庝你那一個。

stay strong to charm your mr right!
suppzzz~

Charlene

Fa Law 說...

個心離咗一離
長話短說,祝福你、你值得的 :)
(我指值得有幸福呀吓 -_- )

七十樓危危下望 說...

想喝酒的話可找我

抱抱你

七十樓危危下望 說...

想喝酒的話可找我

抱抱你

lil 說...

love u..
jsut believe the best is yet to come.
take care.

L 說...

支持支持

Holly 說...

the best is yet to come, that's what i always tell myself, so i can keep rocking the bumpy way alone.
we are all here to hear you cry or scream when you need us. you are not alone :)

Maomao and Sorwuf 說...

加油!!!!

Popo the designer 說...

我很喜愛素顏天使的坦白爽快.我很喜愛素顏天使

Claire 說...

he's just not that into you

Unknown 說...

I'm a long time reader. Just wanted to leave a comment to cheer you up, tomorrow will be better 明天会更好

Barkmon 說...

As a "CD-ROM" who just showed up once to leave you a congratulation message few weeks ago on your blog, I was shocked to hear what has happened. I doubted if an unlucky person like me has jinxed it. Anyway, as I said before, you are worth it!!! This little hiccup just prepared you for a way better guy.

janley@netvigator.com 說...

非常欣賞和支持你.坦白.why not?

janley@netvigator.com 說...

提外話: 轉了三叔機後. 無左你個app. 希望A記快d 有你個app 啦!加油

Tisbu 說...

努力奔跑, 華麗跌倒啊天使!
即使途中跌跌撞撞, 頭破血流,
最後還是會掛著彩到達幸福的終點!!

最少妳還有一群忠誠讀者們不忍妳傷心難過,
默默留言的cheer you up !!!!

活在異地的熊貓 說...

take care and be strong!
the best is yet to come!

肥人老 說...

上天對所有人都是公平的, 活著就會有新開始/新體驗/新驚喜, 如果失敗中有成長有自省,對將來的妳是一種"養份"....
最後希望妳能從傷心及回憶的時間中擺脫出來.... 最後不是最後....再開始吧

肥人老 說...

上天對所有人是公平的, 活著總會有發現有驚喜有失望, 如果在挫折中能有自省有發現,就是未來的妳成長的養份!
在人海中妳可能是很多人心中的女神, 只是妳從沒出現在他們身邊.....
望妳找到更好另一個,再感受妳對生活的喜悅

肥人老 說...

上天對所有人是公平的, 活著總會有發現有驚喜有失望, 如果在挫折中能有自省有發現,就是未來的妳成長的養份!
在人海中妳可能是很多人心中的女神, 只是妳從沒出現在他們身邊.....
望妳找到更好另一個,再感受妳對生活的喜悅

Matina 說...

That's shocking!
Take care dear, always support you!

aya 說...

你仲有一大班朋友同讀友的﹗雖然的確有部份八卦、好事之徒,但當中一定有人當你家人般關愛,take care,至少係我心目中你既坦白係非常之型﹗我絕對冇呢個勇氣﹗

Patricia Wong 說...

謝謝所有電郵、Blog留言、微博留言、微博私信,謝謝你們。

fiSeeL 說...

感觉到你的伤心, 给自己一些时间把不快乐的东西忘掉吧!!
别为了一个不值得你爱的人,而忘了那么多爱你的粉丝!!
真心希望你 -- 快乐, 幸福!!

choco 說...

有勇氣愛的人,始終會有人愛的,當然也有可能受傷,這就是人生呀!總比連愛也不敢或不信的人幸福

LA Gangsta 說...

這是我第一次留言給你,是想告訴你,即使找不到你的Mr Big,你也千萬要愛你自己呀!

Tung 說...

新一年新的開始. 就讓不快的由這一秒過去吧! o黎緊會係開心既事. 勇敢地面對和忘記以前的不快.

Double Dealer 說...

take care and give you a big big hug

李小龍私生女

Unknown 說...

支持妳 ... 容許自已繼續down,繼續發脾氣、唔開心, 但不要太耐 !!
只要繼續向前行, 一定會碰到"對先生"!!

C. 說...

有家人和朋友的愛,會好起來的!
支持你!

Unknown 說...

廢話不多說,只一句: 加油!

30 Something 說...

加油呀! 等待是漫長的, 有時候會出現一些假訊息, 但終有一天你會覺得等待是值得的. 祝福妳!

瑛里 說...

能感受那種風濕痛。甚麼也別想了,去喝它一個昏天黑地,明晨又是新一天。

Dinny 說...

The best is yet to come

Terry Wong 說...

我呢個CD-ROM都要同你講聲:加油!!加油!!

imnotunhappy 說...

Being single, is because God save you for someone special. All the best:)

斯特拉 說...

nothing more, support you

Celine 說...

Patricia,

I won't pretend to know you because I don't, but I have been a loyal, long-time follower of your blog. I was shocked to see your post as I thought you have finally found your Mr. Big. I once thought the same myself, until I got hit by the harsh reality and my heart was broken into a million pieces. Just know that you are not alone.

Be strong and let's soldier on. The best is yet to come and things in life always have a funny way of working themselves out.

支持妳! Supporting you always,
Celine

mosquitivy 說...

Please remember you are not alone. On this path to finding love, all of us have fallen, heart and esteem shattered into pieces. Just take your time to let the wounds heal. Don't be harsh on yourself. And most important of all, don't lose faith. As Celine said above, you never know what surprises life has in store for you.

Best wishes from a long-time 'invisible' reader,
Ivy

mosquitivy 說...

Please remember you are not alone. On this path to finding love, all of us have fallen, heart and esteem shattered into pieces. Just take your time to let the wounds heal. Don't be harsh on yourself. And most important of all, don't lose faith. As Celine said above, you never know what surprises life has in store for you.

Best wishes from a long-time 'invisible' reader,
Ivy

小怡 說...

Su Yan,

friends are all around
love is all around

support you!

K先生 說...

命中注定出年行好運,妳的下一位:靚仔、勁又待妳好。好的在前面

H 說...

曾經開心過比從來沒有好多了,應該為還活著而高興!

加油喔~

mscutiecat 說...

喝醉不要緊,傷心也不要緊,最重要的是那是一段快樂的時光。記得美好的,忘掉不開心的,你有這麼多好朋友,一切都會好起來的。

Coco Yip 說...

I can feel your pain, it's too shocked and heartbroken to hear the sadness. But please keep going, there are so many people who love you much. Again, you are not along.

Get well soon!